Archive for the ‘General’ Category

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Cross-Country Snowboarding

February 1, 2010

Up until now, the only demonstration sport scheduled for the Vancouver Winter Olympics has been, well, demonstrating.

But my sources now tell me that the fledgling sport of Cross-Country Snowboarding will make its debut in 2010.

(My source is Joan Hall, and that fact is made up, but this is a pretty amazing video nonetheless)

Little known fact: the creators and stars of this video are the same team that’s in the current Scotia Bank ads with Jarome Iginla.

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I’m not sure how I feel about this…

January 28, 2010

The stencillers strike back!

As mentioned in a previous post, I wasn’t too happy about Vancouver/VANOC painting over a tasteful graffiti mural. So it’s easy to sympathize with those artists who might be pissed off that their handiwork was erased in a number of hours by a coat of blue paint. But I’m also decidedly pro-Olympics, so the way they’ve drawn the rings here is down right amateurish.

As any grade school kid could tell you, the Olympic rings on the horizontal plane never touch each other. Only on the vertical plane. Get it right, as it calls into question your “arts” credentials.

Still, your slogan of “With glowing hearts, we kill the arts” is kind of clever. That internal rhyming didn’t go unnoticed.

The more important issue at play is the potential poker tell that VANOC may have shown us with the blue paint. My theory is that they plan to use the same approach with Vancouver’s homeless. Hose them all down with blue paint, so that tourists think they’re seeing a really elaborate blue man group performance.

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Red Mitt Diaries

January 25, 2010

You’re looking at the Red Mitts that are causing the kind of door crashing usually reserved for Harry Potter book releases.

Speaking of the boy wizard, these mitts will appeal to the same demographic: kids, moms, and nerdy girls. If you’re a guy with self-respect, you probably shouldn’t wear these. Plus, they’re wool, so they’ll do a great job of soaking up the inevitable Vancouver rain. It’ll be like having a pair of red hand weights for those who want to get a bit of a workout when they cheer.

Maybe I’m being a little tough on the mittens. The proceeds do go to Canadian athletes, and they are better than the collectible item from ’88, the seldom mentioned “torch candle.”

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And so it begins…

December 23, 2009

To poach a line from the Discovery Channel Commercial, The Winter Olympics are just awesome.

The Winter Olympics are a time where Canada’s love/hate relationship with winter weather swings toward the love side of the pendulum. When snow and ice are combined with wax, edges, blades, granite, and onesies, the result is pure sport awesomeness. Over the course of this blog, I hope to show you why.

Notice that I’m being very specific to the Winter Olympics, because I have no passion whatsoever for the summer Olympics. They’re boring and bloated. Oh yeah, and Canada’s not very good at them.

To put it another way, the Summer andd Winter Olympics are not dissimilar to Ben and Casey Affleck. One will always be more famous, but the other is immensely more enjoyable to watch.

Welcome to the5ringcircus.com Strap on a lycra onesie and enjoy the ride.

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