I think she liiiikes you.
Governor General Michaelle Jean welcomes the athletes, midget sidekick turns out to be a no-show.
Vanoc CEO John Furlong and Mayor Gregor Robinson locked in an epic staring contest
The Korean Team, seemingly excited about Christmas light bulbs.
Obviously some kind of swarm of asian paparazzi.
Chris Moore, training for the $1 million dollar prize. Photo by Philip Jarmain
Canada’s lugers have been offered a prize of $1,000,000 dollars if they win a gold medal. No, I didn’t accidentally hold the zero button down too long. That’s $1,000,000. For luging. That’s not dangling a carrot. That’s dangling an entire produce section.
The team’s sponsor, Fast Track Group out of Alberta, announced the incentive today. For a while it seemed like an incredibly selfless gesture. Then company founder Darren Weeks spoke and instead ended up sound kind of dickish.
“I guess I’m blessed financially and I wanted to share,” he said in a phone interview from St. Albert.
Then he probably hung up the phone, lit a cigar with a Borden, and went for a swim in his pool full of gold coins.
Other non-luging Canadian athletes have the chance to win $20,000 for a gold medal from the Canadian Olympic Committee (including those cash starved NHL’ers, thank god). Now that Fast track has offered (pinky pressed to lip) “one mill-yon doll-hers”, they’re making the COC cash incentive program look about as generous as a tip my Grandpa would leave at a restaurant.
The athletes began moving into the village today, as proven by these exclusive photos and mildly funny captions.
Denmark's flag goes up. Moments later it was beaten up by the Australian fighting kangaroo flag
Apparently Sarah Palin could see the Russians arriving from her front door
Germans arrive right on time, showing that unmistakable German enthusiasm
Athletes, they're just like us! They struggle at Rock Band
The Olympic village fleet of luggage carts, stolen from YVR
The living room/games room, probably destined to become a Starbucks after the Olympics
Seriously guys… what’s up with that?
Submitted by guest correspondent Ian Day
Biathlon isn’t the most celebrated winter sport in Canada. We’re not that fond of guns, we prefer ski-doos over or cross-country skiing, and most of us think biathlon is for people who aren’t motivated enough to be triathletes.
So it’s no surprise that the Canadian biathlon team doesn’t quite get the funding or the attention that they deserve. Rather than pout about their low profile, they adopted Halle Berry’s Oscar strategy: Skin to Win.
I don’t own this calendar, but I have had the misfortune of receiving (and regifting) the “Fire and Ice” calendar featuring nude curlers. My guess is that this calendar is much more tasteful and classy. Plus, there’s guns involved.
Bold, Beautiful Biathlon sells for $20, with proceeds going to the team expenses. An excerpt from their site:
We are the Canadian women’s biathlon team. We are a dynamic, positive and internationally competitive team of five women who share a common dream to excel at Canada’s Olympics in 2010 and beyond. Despite the upcoming home Games, our team is in dire need of funding. This is our initiative to take control,
effect positive change and continue the success of our team.Our goal is to empower and inspire women and girls by expressing the beauty of a healthy, athletic body. The net proceeds will go directly towards funding our expenses leading up to the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.
While we’re on the topic, Canadian biathlete Zina Kocher took a cue from American Pie and gave us one of the more enjoyable Olympic athlete profile ads going into the Games.
Johnny Weir-do Outfoxed
The pressure is off Johnny Weir and his fox fur skating costume faux pas. It seems he’s been one-upped by a Russian Pairs couple and their politically incorrect tribute to Aboriginals, including either “brown face” or a bit of a Jersey Shore-esque spray tan malfunction.
Ivan Sekretarev/Associated Press
Paint the Town Red
Vancouver has been encouraged to show its Canadian Olympic support by “painting the town red.” So far, it’s been about as popular as a Hooter’s on Davie Street. With one exception–the always classy Granville shop Dare to Wear has embraced it wholeheartedly in their latest window display. Some would argue it’s for Valentine’s Day, but I know Canadian Olympic pride draped over double Ds when I see it.
Modest Granville clothier sets the bar for Canadian patriotism
The Start of World War III?
The Australians are pissed off at the IOC’s demand that they remove a boxing kangaroo flag from the Olympic village. The IOC trademark police are claiming that it’s not an approved trademark, forgetting to look into the fact that the trademark is owned by the Australian Olympic committee. If they Australians were smart enough to make the claim “We’re just trying to promote sales of those dumb red Canada mitts,” this would all go away. In a related story, if you want to meet members of the Australian team, they can be found at any Roots store, taking pictures and giggling.
Our official Irish correspondent Anna Ryan introduces you to the Irish Bobsleigh Team
Gold medalists in eyeliner application
I’m no sommelier of winter sports, but given that the Jamacian bobsleigh team failed to qualify for the Winter Olympics, may I suggest an alternative team to consider? Equally under-dogesque in nature, the Irish women’s bobsleigh team has qualified for the Winter Olympics for the first time following a successful run in St. Moritz. The Irish team qualified 20th with only twenty accepted into the Games from up to 26 nations, but with several qualifying two or more teams.
Pilot Aoife (say it like Eeffa) Hoey and brakewoman Leona Byrne arrived in Whistler on January 31st for a four day practice at the sliding centre and are now shacked up at the Olympic Village in downtown Vancouver, only a short stroll from the Irish Pavillion ajoining Doolin’s pub. Pavilion is a rather grandoise term for a giant marquee in a parking lot. But after a few pints, who’ll notice?
The athletes have been training in North Dublin where practice starts on a wheeled sled and is combined with a rigourous weights and gym programme. But given the lack of mountains, snow or ice in Ireland, practice happens abroad in Germany, Austria and Switzerland.
The wider Irish team may be seen hanging out with the Ghanian Snow Leopard in the Olympic village, while the Swiss, Americans, Canadians and all those who were born in a hot tub stroll on by.
As a Calgarian, I’m not allowed to let this story get by without comment:
In a floating hotel cash-grab scheme gone horribly wrong, a group of Edmonton investors are leaving a group of Olympic-bound terminally ill kids high and dry.
From the CTV story:
Thirteen terminally ill children and their families who were set to take in the spectacle of the Vancouver Olympics may see that last wish dashed after accommodation plans fell through less than two weeks before the Games.
The families are among approximately 800 people who were supposed to stay in a cruise ship that was to serve as a floating hotel during the Games. But the investment company behind the project cancelled the plan. Many people are left with nowhere to stay, including the children who had planned to attend the Games with the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Edmonton’s Newwest Special Projects confirmed it pulled the plug on accommodations for the Norwegian Star cruise ship because sales were slow and expenses were too great. It’s a business decision that throws into turmoil the Olympic travel plans of people from around the world.
Why are land-locked Edmontonians trying to cash in on a transformed cruise ship? It’s not your area of expertise. Stick to the stuff you’re good at, like drilling for oil or reminiscing about how good your hockey team was 25 years ago.
I just hope these Make-A-Wish kids find a place to stay. I’d offer up my place, but I don’t think any kid’s wish is to sleep on a slow-leak inflatable floor mattress. Plus, I’ve got a two week supply of naive Korean tourists booked on that mattress at $500/night.
(thanks to Mel Woytiuk for the story)
Vancouver seems to be taking its cue from the town from Footloose and banning dancing during the Olympics. Spandy Andy, local dance busker and perhaps the only non-Olympian to be wearing spandex during the Games, will not be allowed anywhere near an Olympic venue according to the fun police and the city of Vancouver. Even Translink didn’t think he was right for their Skytrain station buskers. More about that drama here.
Photo credits: Kim Ytsma
As of tonight, a group called I Heart Van Art were able to help Andy secure a busking permit, allowing him to dance in their Yaletown festival during the Games.
A little background on Spandy. Andy Rimer’s from Red Deer, Alberta, home to Winter Olympic athletes Jeremy Wotherspoon and Zina Kocher. A couple of years ago, Spandy brought his tight n’ bright, high energy dance act to Vancouver, as it likely wasn’t as well received in Red(neck) Deer.
With every robot pop n’ lock, air hump and headstand, Andy endeared himself to the passersby of English Bay and “undeared” himself to the by-law officers who didn’t know what to make of his neon white-boy hip-hop freestyling.
Despite being named by Colgate as “Canada’s Freshest Dancer” and getting some good face time on So You Think You Can Dance Canada, it wasn’t until tonight that Andy was able to make his Olympic dream come true.
If you’re around for the Olympics, and you want to have your face melted, be sure to check out Andy’s performances, likely with a 2010 twist. He won’t be hard to miss. His Spandex Suit is brighter than Marco Buechel’s. Any ski nerds out there digging that reference? No, didn’t think so.
Follow Spandy Andy here
Ashleigh’s post from a few weeks ago deserves an encore after her gold digging ways in today’s ski cross. Enjoy:
The girl you see before wearing the feet of an illegally poached Polar Bear is Ashleigh McIvor, Canada’s top qualifier in the renegade sport of skiercross. When she’s not pissing off Greenpeace with her footwear, she’s barreling down the mountain ripping around banked turns and flying off kickers while throwing elbows that would make Charles Barkley proud.
Ashleigh’s from Whistler, so based on what I’ve learned from Peak Season, her hobbies include binge drinking, punching guys and then making out with the guy she just punched. If you’re into official bios, you can probably find some better stuff here.
